Moon Master
by Editor-Bug
Summary: Why did Zim promise the moon to GIR? And why would GIR want it in the first place? ONE-SHOT! Read & review if you like!


(A/N: Hi, uh, this story just came to me one day. Not a super original idea, I know, but I wanted to do my own take on it for funsies.)

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"Master, when can I get a little sister?"

"We've been through this, GIR..."

One night, Zim and GIR were returning home in the Voot Cruiser after a productive night of sneaky peeky spying. They had spent hours watching people's nightly activities...mostly convenience store employees goofing off because no one was coming in for gas at this hour.

"AHHHHH!"

Despite how numb he'd grown to GIR's random screaming, this startled Zim. "What is it, GIR?!"

"That guy's followin' us!"

"What?!" Zim tried to look back. "Who is?!"

"I dunno." GIR said nonchalantly.

"Describe them!"

"Oh, uh, he's reeeal big, floaty and yellow-y. He's got a weird face too! Like a block man!"

"A Blokanian barrage beast!" growled Zim. "I knew the people of Blokan would send someone after me soon! Well, Invader Zim won't go down without a fight! Hear that?! FACE ME, BEAST!"

He did a U-turn with the ship and looked around.

"...GIR?"

"Hm?"

"Where's the barrage beast? Is he using a cloaking device? Have the Blokanians advanced that much?!"

"Nooo." GIR pressed his face against the windshield. "He's right there!"

"GIR, that's the moon."

"...oh, yeah! The moon man's followin' us!"

"Well, of course he...IT is! Have you no understanding of the parallax effect?!"

"I don't like parataxis, Master!" whined GIR. "Why's he after us?"

"You pest..." murmured Zim. He highly doubted GIR could comprehend the concepts of orbits and gravity considering he could barely keep track of kiddy show plotlines. But he just kept staring at him, so he might as well answer. "The moon doesn't follow us, it follows the entire planet."

"Aroo?" GIR cocked his head.

"You see, to the Earth, the moon is like an obedient slave, so it follows it everywhere while it spins." Zim cleared his throat. "Learn from its example!"

"Ohhh, I get it!" GIR was beaming at first, but his smile slowly faded.

"WHAT? You should be satisfied with that explanation!"

"But Master, when you own Earth, then who's gonna have the moon?"

"Uh..." Zim had never considered it. "Who knows? Perhaps I'll destroy it just to show the humans I can."

"Ooh, ooh! Can I have it? I like the moon now! We're like twins! Or co-cashiers!"

"Sure. I mean, I wouldn't see any harm in it, and I doubt the Tallest would mind." The moon was a mere empty, grey orb of dust; Zim had given GIR arguably more valuable things before. (He just hoped GIR's line of reasoning didn't equate him to the Earth.)

Then came probably the first, last, and only moment where Zim expected GIR to cheer loudly, but he didn't. He was staring again.

"WHAT?! What else could you possibly want?!"

"Promise?" GIR asked.

Zim scrunched his face in bewilderment. He already said GIR could have it, so why was he asking further? The moon thing must've been somewhat serious to him. Of all things. At least _something_ he said managed to capture GIR's interest. It meant he wasn't completely hopeless as a minion.

"Very well, GIR. I _promise_ you can have the moon once I've conquered the Earth. With any luck, those Blokanians will be out of the way by then, too."

"YAHOO!" There was the loud cheer. GIR jumped up and down excitedly, rocking the ship. "I'm gonna get my own moon! Heehee! Me an' Moony, two peas in the sea! Gonna go roller skating with it, and make ice cream, and go to MacMeatieees, and eat racoons, and go to concerts, and ride ponies, and drive go karts, and play laser tag, and do a scavenger hunt, and see a musical, and start a band, and inevitably split up due to creative differences, and...!"

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(A/N: Pretty innocent lil story, right? Zim's explanation was s'posed to be like a twist on those folktales that explain how nature works. Info nugget. Felt nice to write something short and sweet.

Well, please review, fave and check out my profile for more! Au revoir!)


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